The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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