The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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