The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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