The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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