The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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