The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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