The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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