The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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