The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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