The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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