The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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