The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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