The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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