The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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