The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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