The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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