The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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