The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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