The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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