The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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