The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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