The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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