The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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