The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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