The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

Itís Hans free.

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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