The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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