The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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