The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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