The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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