The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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