The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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