The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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