The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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