The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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