The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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