The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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