The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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