The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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