The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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