The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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