The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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