The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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