The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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