The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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