The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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