The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.

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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".

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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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