The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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