The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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