The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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