The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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