The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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