The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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