The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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