The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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