The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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