The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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