The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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