The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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