The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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