The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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