The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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