The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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