The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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