The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!

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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!

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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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