The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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