The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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