The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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