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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.
I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?
Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?
Forever 21
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If you don't know what introspection is,
you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?
Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?
A baboom
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?
If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?
Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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I tried nutella on some salmon
got salmonella.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
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