The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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