The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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