The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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