The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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