The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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