The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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