The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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