The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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