The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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