The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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