The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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