The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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