The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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