The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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