The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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