The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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