The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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