The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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