The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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