The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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