The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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