The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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