There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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