There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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