There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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