There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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