There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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