There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.


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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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