There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.

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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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