There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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