There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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