There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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