There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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