There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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