There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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