There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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