There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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