There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.

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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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