There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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