There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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