There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.

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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!

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