There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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