There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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