There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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