There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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