There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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