There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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