There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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