There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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