There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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