There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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