There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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