There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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