There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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