There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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