There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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