There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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