There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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