There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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