There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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