There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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