There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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