There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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