There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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