There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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