There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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