There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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