There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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