There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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