There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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