There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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