There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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