There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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