There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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