There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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