There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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