There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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