There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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