There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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