There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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