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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?
It wasn't raining!
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?
Because he was bald!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But the guitarist has to show him first.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Clowns divorce:
custardy battle.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?
He doesn't have a heart.
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What do planets like to read?
Comet books!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?
To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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