There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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