There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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