There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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