There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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