There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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