There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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