There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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