Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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A jump rope.
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Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
or