There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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