There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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