There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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