There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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