There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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