There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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