There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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