There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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