There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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