There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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