There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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