There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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