There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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