There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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