There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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