There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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