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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"
and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?
A hot dog
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
As far away as possible.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What's black and white and red all over?
A blushing zebra.
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How do you make Holy water?
Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How is a dog like a telephone?
It has a collar I.D.
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What do bees do with their honey?
They cell it.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?
The caterer.
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