There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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