There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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