There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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