There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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