There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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