There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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