There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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