There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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