There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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