There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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