There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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