There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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