There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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