There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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