There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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