There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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