There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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