There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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