There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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