There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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