There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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