There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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