There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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