There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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