There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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