There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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