There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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