There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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