There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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