There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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