There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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