There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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