There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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