There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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