There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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