There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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