There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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