There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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