There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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