There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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