There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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