There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"



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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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