They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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