They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"


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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.

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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies

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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.

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