They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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