They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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