They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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