They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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