They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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