They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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