They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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