They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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