They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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