They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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