They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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