They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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