They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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