They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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