They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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