They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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