They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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