They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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