They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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