They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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