They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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