They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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