They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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