They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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