They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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