They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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