They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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