They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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