They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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