They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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