They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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