They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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