This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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