This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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