This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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