This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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