This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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