This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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