This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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