This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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