This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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