This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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