This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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