This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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