This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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