This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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