This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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