This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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