This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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