This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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