This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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