This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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