Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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