Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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