Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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