Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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