Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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