Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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