Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.


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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.

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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.

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