Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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