Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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