Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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