Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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