Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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