Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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