Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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