Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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