Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over

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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

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