Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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