Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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