Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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