Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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