Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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