Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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