Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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