Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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