Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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