Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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