Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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