Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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