Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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