Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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