Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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