Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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