Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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