Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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