Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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