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Trump: "It's not a toupee,
I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How is a dog like a telephone?
It has a collar I.D.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?
That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?
His heart wasn't in it.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?
The Elfabet.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?
Super Pickle!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?
Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snowbody!
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