Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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