Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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