Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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