Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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