Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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