Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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