Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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