Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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