Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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