Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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