Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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