Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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