Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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