Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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