Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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