Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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