Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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