Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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