Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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