Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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