Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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