Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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