Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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