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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What did the picture say to the wall?
I've been framed.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?
The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
All of them.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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