Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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