Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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