Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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