Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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