Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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