Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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