Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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