Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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