Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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