Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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