Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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