Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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