Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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