Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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