Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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