Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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