Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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