Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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