Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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