Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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