Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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