Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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