Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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