Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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