Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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