Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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