Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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