Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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