Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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