Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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