Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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