Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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