Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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