Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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