Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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