Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.

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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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