Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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