Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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