Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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