Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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