Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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