Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!

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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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