Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.

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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!

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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.

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