Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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