Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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