Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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