Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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