Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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