Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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