Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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