Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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