Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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