Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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