Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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