Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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