Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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