Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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