Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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