Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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