Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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