Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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