Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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