Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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