Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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