Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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