Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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