Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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