Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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