Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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