Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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