Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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