Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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