Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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