Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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