Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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