Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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