Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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