Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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