Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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