Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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