Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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