Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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