Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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