Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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