Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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