Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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