Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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