Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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