Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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