Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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