Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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