Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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