Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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