Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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