Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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