Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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