Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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