Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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