Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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