Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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