Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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