Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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