Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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