Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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