Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.

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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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