Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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