Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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