What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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