What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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