What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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