What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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