What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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