What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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