What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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