What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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