What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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