What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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