What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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