What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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