What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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