What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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