What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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