What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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