What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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