What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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