What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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