What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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