What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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