What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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