What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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