What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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