What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!

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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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