What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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