What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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