What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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