What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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