What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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