What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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