What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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