What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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