What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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