What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights

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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.

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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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