What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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