What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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