What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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