What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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