What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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