What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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