What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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