What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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