What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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