What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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