What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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