What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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