What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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