What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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