What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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