What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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