What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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