What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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