What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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