What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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