What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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