What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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