What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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