What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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