What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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