What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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