What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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