What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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