What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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