What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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