What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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