What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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