What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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