What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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