What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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