What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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