What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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