What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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