What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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