What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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