What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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