What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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