What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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