What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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