What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.

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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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