What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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