What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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