What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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