What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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