What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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