What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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