What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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