What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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