What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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