What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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