What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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