What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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