What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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