What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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