What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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