What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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