What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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