What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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