What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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