What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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