What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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