What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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