What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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