What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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