What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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