What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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