What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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