What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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