What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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