What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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