What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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