What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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