What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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