What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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