What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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