What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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