What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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