What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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