What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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