What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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