What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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