What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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