What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.

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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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