What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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