What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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