What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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