What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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