What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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