What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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