What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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