What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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