What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.

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