What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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