What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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