What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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