What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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