What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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