What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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