What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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