What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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