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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?
Snowflakes.
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What do Santa's elves drive?
Minivans.
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What is Claustrophobia?
The fear of Santa Claus.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?
A pair of Re-Bachs.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?
It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?
You can count on me!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?
Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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