What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean

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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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