What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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