What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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