What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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