What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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