What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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