What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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