What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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