What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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