What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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