What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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