What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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