What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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