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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?
The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Both of them.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?
Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What did the dog say to the flea?
Stop bugging me!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?
Root position cords.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?
Glass flippers.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?
Spelling.
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