What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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