What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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