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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?
No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?
Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.
It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What does GOP stand for?
Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
CoFe2
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Why did the drum take a nap?
It was beat.
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