What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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