What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!

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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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