What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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