What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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