What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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