What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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