What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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