What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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