What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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