What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
Canvas not available.

or


Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Canvas not available.

or


What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
Canvas not available.

or


What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
Canvas not available.

or


What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
Canvas not available.

or


Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
Canvas not available.

or


How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
Canvas not available.

or


Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
Canvas not available.

or


How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2026