What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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