What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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