What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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