What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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