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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?
A marsbar!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean
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What do you call a cow with three legs?
Lean beef.
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What's green and loud?
A froghorn.
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What kind of table has no legs.
A multiplication table.
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What room can you not go into?
A mushroom!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?
A hot dog
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