What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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