What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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