What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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