What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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