What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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