What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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