What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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