What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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