What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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