What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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