What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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