What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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