What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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