What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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