What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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