What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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