What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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