What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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