What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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