What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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