What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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