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What can you hold without using your hands?
Your breath!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How is a dog like a telephone?
It has a collar I.D.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?
By subsisting on titrations.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?
A hot dog
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?
"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
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