What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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