What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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