What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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