What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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