What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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