What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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