What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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