What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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