What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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