What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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