What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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