What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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