What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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