What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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