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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?
Virgin mobile.
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Where are sharks from?
Finland.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?
Rootbeer.
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How is a dog like a telephone?
It has a collar I.D.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one - and let the other one off.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?
When you are eating a watermelon.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!
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