What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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