What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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