What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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