What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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