What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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