What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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