What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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