What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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