What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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