What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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