What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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