What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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