What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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