What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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