What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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