What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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