What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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