What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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