What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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