What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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