What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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