What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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