What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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