What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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