What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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