What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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