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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?
Virgin mobile.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?
One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?
Booberry pie!
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When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a garage.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?
By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?
It wanted to be a watermelon.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,
it was Wedgie Kray.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"
The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?
No one can eat just one potato ship.
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