What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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