What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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