What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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