What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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