What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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