What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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