What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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