What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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