What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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