What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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