What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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