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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?
Virgin mobile.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?
When the door is open.
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What did the boat say to the pier?
What's up, dock?
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?
Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?
Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a messy hippo?
A hippopota-mess
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?
Never lick the spoon!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?
They can make little things count.
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