What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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