What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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