What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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