What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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