What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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