What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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