What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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