What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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