What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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