What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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