What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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