What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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