What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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