What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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