What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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