What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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