What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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