What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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