What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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