What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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