What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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