What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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