What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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