What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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