What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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