What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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