What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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