What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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