What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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