What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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