What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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