What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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