What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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