What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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