What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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