What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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