What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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