What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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