What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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