What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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