What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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