What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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