What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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