What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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