What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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