What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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