What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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