What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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