What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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