What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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