What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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