What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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