What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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