What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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