What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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