What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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