What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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