What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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