What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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