What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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