What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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