What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!

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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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