What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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