What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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