What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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