What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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