What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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