What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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