What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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