What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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