What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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