What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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