What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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