What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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