What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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