What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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