What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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