What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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