What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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