What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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