What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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