What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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