What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!

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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals

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