What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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