What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!

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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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