What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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