What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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