What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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