What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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