What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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