What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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