What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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