What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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