What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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