What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.

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