What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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