What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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