What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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