What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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