What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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