What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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