What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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