What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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