What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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