What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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