What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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