What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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