What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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