What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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