What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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