What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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