What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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