What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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