What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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