What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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