What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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