What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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