What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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