What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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