What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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