What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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