What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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