What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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