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What did Delaware?
A New Jersey.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.
I said, "Are you two an item?"
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?
Do you believe in humans?
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Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
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Why did the belt go to jail?
It held up a pair of pants.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How do you cut a wave in half?
Use a sea saw.
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