What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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