What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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