What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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