What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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