What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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