What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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