What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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