What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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A seal walks into a club...
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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