What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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