What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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