What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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