What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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