What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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