What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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