What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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