What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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