What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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