What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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