What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday

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