What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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