What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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