What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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