What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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