What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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