What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.

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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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