What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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