What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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