What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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