What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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