What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?


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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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