What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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