What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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