What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!

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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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