What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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