What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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