What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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