What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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