What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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