What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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