What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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