What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.

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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.

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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.

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