What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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