What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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