What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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