What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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