What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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