What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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