What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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