What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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