What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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