What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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