What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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