What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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