What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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