What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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