What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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