What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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