What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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