What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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