What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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