What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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