What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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