What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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