What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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