What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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