What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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