What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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