What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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