What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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