What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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